We all want to live our best lives but the world hardly seems to consistently cooperate. So what gives? Are we to live stressful lives until some blissful existence in the afterlife? Not in my book, your mental health (or lack thereof) determines the quality of your life.
Poor mental health can drive you to constantly yield to the opinions or reactions of others, avoid the risk inherent in success & limit your decisions to what’s socially acceptable. All of which results in a huge dose of unhappiness and inconsequential wealth and freedom. To live our best lives we’re going to need to cultivate emotional intelligence by identifying, accepting and forgiving our failings while leveraging our passions.
Mental Health STEP 1: Self-Awareness
Self Awareness is an objective knowledge of your own character, feelings, desires and actions without the filter of self justification. Take an honest look at the destructive or unhealthy behaviors you engage in regularly.
We do this for two reasons:
- These behaviors can contribute to a low sense of self-worth and by working to eliminate them we can begin to feel better about ourselves
- We often use these behaviors as anesthetic to numb the childhood trauma that is the cause of our poor self-worth (everybody has some form of childhood trauma)
You probably lack the ability to see yourself objectively because people tend to judge themselves by their intentions rather than their overt actions. Counteract this by talking to a confidant whose capable of meeting you where you are without judgement. By receiving unbiased feedback from a qualified third-party we’re able to become aware of the irrational thoughts and behaviors fueling our fragile sense of not-enoughness. Also checkout 12 Irrational Core Beliefs.
How this can help you live your dreams…
When we develop a strong sense of Self-Awareness we not only become aware of our weaknesses but our strengths. Leveraging those strengths is crucial for increasing our Net Worth as people tend to work significantly harder in areas they love and have a natural affinity for.
“The vulnerability journey is not the kind of journey we can make alone. We need support. We need folks who will let us try on new ways of being without judging us.” Brene Brown
STEP 2: Cultivate Self-Acceptance
Self Acceptance is the practice of honestly acknowledging the reality of where and who you are without judgement. This doesn’t mean we give up and stay where we are but that we admit to ourselves the reality of our present condition.
Once you begin to acknowledge the darker parts of yourself it can be tempting to fall into even deeper depths of self loathing. But Self Acceptance is essentially shutting up that inner voice that’s determined to stifle our mental health. To quiet your inner critic according to Joyce Marter, choose a mantra that is calming and encouraging during times when the inner critic refuses to shut the hell up.
For example, you could use: “I am only human, I am doing the best that I can and that is all I can do.” Marter goes on to say, “Our mistakes and our imperfections are not bad or wrong or failures, they are the fingerprints of humanity and opportunities for learning, healing and growth.”
How this can help you live your dreams…
Failure in business, career advancement or other financial goals is an inevitable part of truly living. If you cannot accept & learn from a situation you will waste valuable energy being frustrated. Instead, cultivate a short memory and a resilient attitude.
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STEP 3: Cultivate Self-Forgiveness
Becoming aware of and accepting the darkness within your own heart is followed by the need to forgive yourself for it. Self-Forgiveness is the process of shutting down negative self-talk and destructive emotional attitudes like shame, perfectionism or self-hatred. Siting with knowledge of your darker self without forgiveness will destroy you which is why so many people run from this knowledge in the first place.
Self-Forgiveness is a process that involves understanding what we’ve done, why we did it, working to change the attitudes that caused the behavior, making amends, letting it go and moving forward! Don’t hold your past and the daily mistakes you make against yourself and you’ll slowly starve the inner critic that keeps telling you you’re not enough.
How this can help you live your dreams…
Making a mistake isn’t the end of the world. Self-Forgiveness gives us the courage to try again and to not be overwhelmed by negative emotions. Additionally, it makes us empathetic & emotionally intelligent leaders increasing our ability to motivate others into helping us achieve our goals.
“You keep talking about the mistakes, you keep talking about the past, you keep talking about your trials… I want you to know that everybody who has ever been great has had obstacles to overcome, they’ve had barriers they had to climb. No individual has ever reached success who didn’t have to go through barriers or obstacles to get there.” Eric Thomas
STEP 4: Cultivate Your Passion
Developing mental health is about believing that you’re a valuable person and have a unique contribution to make to the world. I use to think I was losing because I’d look all around me and see people winning in areas I wasn’t. I’ve since learned that greatness is only obtainable when I live my truth and leverage my own innate talents & passions.
Identify what you want & what you love by answering these questions:
- What emotions have caused you the most pain in life?
- What do you specifically hate about your life & why?
- What are three activities are you great at and that create the most joy in your life?
How you can leverage the activities you’re passionate about to reduce what you hate while healing others from the emotions that’ve caused you the most pain?
- I’ve been plagued throughout my life by feelings of loneliness, unworthiness, ingratitude and impatience
- I hated the fact that I wasn’t free to control my own life because of my job and my struggles with addiction
- I’m exceptional with people, communication (speaking, reading, writing) and strategic planning
Thus, by creating my company LordResume, I’ve been able to quit my 9 to 5 job focus on Career Transition Training & Modernized Resume Writing. As I’ve gotten healthier internally my external circumstances have always rushed to catch up.
How this can help you live your dreams…
Living our dreams is more than wealth, it’s about discretionary time and contributing real value to the world around you. Nothing empowers you to do this better than pursuing a business or career that’s inline with your passions. Find what you love and invest your focus, time, energy and money into it – the ROI will be unbelievable.
“You ain’t got to be perfect – Are you hearing what I’m saying? You don’t have to be perfect to get what you want, to do what you want, to have what you want, to be what you want.” Eric Thomas
Interested in working with me?
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